I call myself a Travel and Food writer. No, this is not about TRAVEL. Today’s post is about FOOD. More to the point, it is about a food failure. And even more, this is about learning that certain crazy old broads such as myself should not attempt to make hash browns. Please let this be a lesson so that you do not end up in hash brown Hell!
To be honest, my first mistake was PROBABLY thinking that things would go well. I mean, seriously, I’m over 60 and not one known to follow directions. I am not a patient person, and I don’t spend much time in the kitchen. I have one favorite go-to dish that I make about every other month. Someone else in the household does most of the cooking.
((By the way, y’all… I chose this photo to shine a light on a Food Fail… because I could not find a photo of horrible hash browns. ))
Since I am not traveling this month, I found myself bored on a Saturday with too much time on my hands. I decided to make hash browns with no idea of how to do so. Having identified some potatoes, I peeled five of them. My second mistake, I found a flat potato grater and tried to act like I knew what to do as tiny particles of mush began flying all over the room. The panic set in when I could not identify the correct way to hold the potato to keep from shredding my own fingers, ouch!
My third mistake was to quickly glance over an on-line recipe while taking a break and having a cup of coffee. No, wait, it was taking the break, not reading the directions carefully, then disregarding the part about rinsing off and the part about reducing excess moisture. I was not sure what that meant or how to do it. While there were at least four mistakes in this one paragraph, I will just count them all as one unit.
By this time, I was getting quite hungry and eager to devour the delicious treat. The recipe indicated a cooking time of ten minutes. At the end of my ten minutes, it was not a pretty sight. They were an odd color and still looked raw. That is when I PROBABLY made my fourth and fifth mistakes. The obvious solution, in my silly mind, was to turn the heat all the way up and to add butter.
The weird-colored, weird-textured, weird-smelling mess kept right on cooking for at least twenty more minutes before finally getting crisp. Convinced that I had entered hash brown Hell, I stubbornly determined that I would eat them regardless of how they looked. As I turned to get a bowl, the phone in my hand rang and I dropped it while tripping over the cat.
Yes, I did eat the horribly unattractive hash browns. One roommate took a bite and said that even though they were ugly they still tasted good. The other roommate thought it was some unknown yet okay-tasting type of meat.
Today’s kitchen adventure did not go well. The first roommate thought the whole thing was hilarious while the second roommate knew better than to make any more comments. The cat is keeping a safe distance while also trying to figure out how to make this all about her.
Next time, instead of hash brown Hell, I will do the right thing …. by going to Waffle House!
-=-=-=-=- ( Avoid hash brown Hell-=-=-=-=Now give me some positive Comments )-=-=-=-=-
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lol I feel like it doesn’t matter for hash browns as long as they taste good – but I totally would have expected it to take more than 10mins. I always think hash browns take more time than I expect!
p.s. I think you can blame it all on the cat if they tripped you up!
Hi Josy, so glad you liked the post, and I see from your site awalkandalark.com that you also love cats and food. You have been to some beautiful spots, I do hope you get to the USA some day. (Come visit me in Florida!)
Try just peeling and chopping the potations and pat them dry with a paper towel. Toss in hot oil in the frying (my preference is a cast-iron one) turn the heat down between low and medium, salt and pepper them, and cook for probably a little more than 10 minutes. They will be delicious. I also like to add chopped onions and bell peppers as the potatoes start to get brown. Five minutes of cooking is good for the onions and peppers. Only one of my cats will eat anything without cream, eggs, meat, or fish in it.
Well, thanks Kathleen for the potato advice, and for being another cat lover. Hey, keep up your great work at americanroads.net and remember to find some humor in every day.
Crying tears of laughter!!! The poor cat. Also, your roommates are very brave!
My cat and my roommates seem to be brave…and to put up with me!! Stay tuned for more adventures and keep being your awesome self!!
Love the honesty here and the fact that I am not the only one who occasionally ventures into cooking my own food- I love to eat! Love this!
April, we share a love of food, back roads, and photography. I would encourage my readers to also enjoy your wonderful photos on Instagram ( the link is here: https://www.instagram.com/fallphototrips/ ).
I love this and can so relate! I made homemade soup for dinner last week and thought I would make some biscuits to go with it. I’ve always made great biscuits and had no reason to believe this time would be any different. I got distracted by a phone call from my sister. When I pulled them out of the oven I was so confused. I quickly realized my mistake when I tasted them. Ummmm I forgot the leavening agents. Instead of delicious flaky buttermilk biscuits I had disgusting hockey pucks.
So glad you can relate and admit you are (also) not perfect! And I never did get the hang of biscuits!
Aww, I’ve never tried making hash browns before but mishaps are totally understandable. At least they still tasted good (that’s all that truly matters anyway)! Poor cat! 😛
Trying to make something new to you is a wonderful experience, even when it does not go well. The cat has gotten over it!! I enjoy your site fairyburger.com and hope others will take a look. Thanks for sharing!